I'm weird.. and I know it.

I've had this issue for as long as I can remember.
If someone around me starts acting differently, or I perceive that they are I start to worry. It throws me into a rather uncontrollable panic where I'm sure I did or said something and that they don't like me anymore. (Or in regards to my job, I'm about to be fired). I wish I could  point to some specific time or event and say " This is where that comes from" but I can't. I don't know why subtle changes make me freak out, I don't know why I am deathly afraid of people being mad at me. I am quite sure I've annoyed friends and family with my need to say something and get an " it's okay" before I feel better and can let it go.
This has come up a few times lately, with family and a friend of mine. I can't seem to make it go away.
I hate this about myself, it makes me a paranoid annoying person. If I say something to the person that I'm worried about, I look like a lunatic (which I am) if I don't say anything the feeling of panic continues and often gets worse until some other subtle gesture some how tells me it's all okay again. I also tend to be on high alert for such gestures and becoming a little crazier waiting for them.
I am a sensitive person, I admit it. I try to hide my emotions, which leads to me being pretty morose and miserable. I don't often feel like I can express my concern without looking like a clingy person. And I know I'm not really. I have only a few close friends, and I value them very much,, but I am not the sort of person that needs to talk to them all the time, or see them constantly to know they're my friends. Would I like to see them more? Sure, but our schedules just don't allow that.
I am sure this past year, I've been more than a little annoying. It has been one of the worst  years of my life. I've been smacked in the face again and again, I've gotten to the point where I don't even feel like I should hope for anything good, or to make plans because it won't work out. I'd love to go back to school but I can't afford it, I'd love to pay off my debt, can't afford that either, take a vacation? Hah. I can't even day a single day off of work without having to use PTO for fear of not having enough money to get through the next two weeks. And if it's a paycheck where I'm paying rent? Let me tell you, 200$ is just not enough for two weeks worth of gas, food and whatever else I might need.
I'm not trying to bitch, I'm just putting it out there. I'm tired, and worn out. I'm reaching a point where I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of being panicked, and scared and sick and whiny. I can say in most ways I hate who I am, and I hate my life.

I've got no answers and I'm not expecting anyone else to have any either.

Just needed to put this out in case people wanted to know.